types of girls: 1. syrup that tastes so sweet but leaves a stickiness that won’t leave 2. docile dandelions that blow away and leave you forever 3. animal bones that crush under your jaw 4. home
today I learned that if you want to slash someone’s tires, don’t slash all four; only slash three because if you slash all four their insurance will pay for it but if you only slash three they have to pay for it all out of pocket
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today on satan makes a blog post
Life tip: if someone slashes 3 of your tires, slash the 4th one yourself and blame it on the person who slashed the first 3. Now, your insurance will pay for it.
Life tip: If you slash 3 of their tires, hide out nearby until they discover their slashed tires. Take pictures of them slashing their fourth tire. Show police when they arrive on scene. Convicted of insurance fraud and still have to pay for tires.
i feel like i’m reading a Spy vs Spy comic in text format
imagine a swarm of 8 year olds, all wearing minecraft, angry birds and minion t shirts, running up to you and viscously beating the living shit out of you while chanting youtuber intros
